Islamabad, Home of Dish Network Customer Support

I am all for companies saving money. If they want to outsource a job, there is not much we as little people can do to stop them. However, if they really wanted to save money, a better option may be to stop paying their CEO's so much money to delegate all of their work. The highest paid folks seem to do the least amount of work. At least, that is the view I get from the cheap seats.

What do I know. I am unemployed.

I recently moved from one apartment to another. In order for me to move my Dish Network service, I needed to have a technician come out to the new apartment to install it. An appointment was set for a Wednesday, which came and went without a technicians arrival. So I called 1-800-thick-accent to find out what occurred. The following discussion took place.

Dish Operator - Thank you for contacting DEESH NETWORK, home of best H-DEE and DVR service, my name is TOM, how can I help you.

Me- Your name is what?

D.O. - Tom. What is the problem I can help you with?

Me - Well, TOM....I was supposed to have someone come out today between 9AM and 12PM to install my dish and no one has arrived. I was wondering if something was wrong.

D.O. - I apologize for all inconvenience this may have cause. Let me look up your account things. May I please have the number of your phone?

Me - Looking at the phone, Tom, I think the number is 385. But it is a Motorola. I think I see a Z on the front of it.

D.O. - OK, sir, I am not finding a 385 in our system. You said your name was Motorola?

**At this point, it was too much fun not getting a tech out to my new place. So I just continued going on and seeing how far this would go**

Me - No, no....my first name is Z, like the Zebra. JUST...like....Zebra. Last name Motorola, middle name 385

D.O. - OK.... Sir, I am having a time finding your info. Please wait please.

**This is obviously a call overseas for more obvious reasons than the fact that the company in charge of handling Dish Network's service thinks Barbara Streisand music is any good**

Different Dish Network Operator - Hello, seer? My name is Mike. Can you please give me your account info again? I seem to not be able to find you.

Me - That's because Tom was working with me before. I am not sure what he did not understand. I gave him my phone number. It is . My name is .

Mike (Operator) - OK, here it is....one moment, please sir and apologize for the holding.

Tom - OK, seer. Thank you for the holding. Can you verify your address of your home please?

Me - Sure. It is .

Tom - OK, that is not the information that is in front of me.

Me - Hmmm...well that might explain why no one has come out to install my dish. Is it possible that someone can come out today? I am missing Jenna's Playhouse right now.

Tom - Sir, I apologize for all this problems. We can get someone out next week sometime. What is the address for the technician?

Me - I don't even know his name, so I couldn't tell you his address. I think he drives a truck though and carries a bag of tools.

Tom - OK, like I said again, I do apologize for all the problems. Uh....

Me - That's OK Tom. I accept your apology for the polar ice caps, but as far as the world economy, "sorry" just doesn't cut it.

Tom - OK, thank you. Can I get you with anything else today?

Me - Angelina Jolie, if possible.

Tom - OK, I will see if we can do that. Can you hold on for a moments?

Me - Sure

I was losing interest in playing "How Far To Push The Ishtar." It was too easy. Needless to say I promptly cancelled Dish soon after they missed their second appointment. I did give them all the info and argued profusely when I called later in the day on the incompetence in appointment scheduling and wondered why it was that an electronic key stroke is so hard to perform. I stressed to the next person I spoke with that Barbara Streisand was a HUGE turn off while on hold and several times I thought about repeatedly falling on a sharp instrument because of it.

I got several apologies. That was nice. Angelina, however, still has not gotten a hold of me.