Don't Expect Bliss after THIS!

I heard a story this weekend from a friend of mine. I had to laugh mostly from the visual of phlegm flying in all the wrong places, but mostly because I pictured her reaction when it happened. Imagine yourselves, if you will, standing in an empty Costco warehouse, with the lights off, and you are blindfolded. 50 feet away, 700 pounds of lead pip is dropped 30 feet onto the concrete floor. What would you do? I would imagine, after sidestepping a puddle of piss, and ignoring the fecal smell coming from your shorts, that you would hop, skip and jump far away from the sound. So, remember that feeling as I proceed.

Instead of pipe in a warehouse, imagine you are a woman having her pussy licked and are in the height of pleasure, only to be interrupted by the first reported case of tuberculosis in 25 years? If you smoke, then you will know that sometimes the alveoli in the lungs require less tar and more pockets to hold oxygen. Smoking not only kills you, and makes your breath smell like a moldy brick of Gouda cheese, but it also causes hitches or catches in your breathing. The harder you breathe, the more likely it is you will catch something in your lungs that will cause the dreaded smoker cough and the utmost inconvenient time. Be the woman. close your eyes an realize that what was once a nice, moist clitoris has been replaced with a locked hood covered in lung spew. Hot, huh?

Now how about sex? What if the only emission of passion released from a man is that ashen aura known as Marlboro breath as the intensity heats up, and just before kissing, there is a mad coughing fit. Talk about a mood killer. Pubic hair in your mouth is bad enough, but expelled lung phlegm is a definite no-no. I can only imagine the look on her face.

"OH BABY OH BABY.....ooooooooooooo Sorry

"what the fuck?" Good Lord.....Robitussin DM douche bag! Use it!

The above is not usually labeled as romance by the opposite sex. The example above is not made to make men feel inferior because, well in all reality, we already are. So don't make it worse by inhaling dogshit prior to sex. No need t smoke before AND after. Save it and relish the moment that is in front of. Not long from now, chances are some nonsmoker might snatch up the ass you are tapping because the air flow is clear....