Parents Can Make Mistakes

Most times, parents are perfect people. Usually, we, as a breed, are never wrong. Unless it is was today, and it's warm outside, and my daughter is wearing long pants at recess.

Honestly, it is cold outside in the moring when I take her to school. In my mind, by this time next week it will be officially fall. I made a compromise and put a short sleeve shirt on her. However, when I picked her up, Peyton had her arms folded, glaring at me as if I was late for dinner. She was standing by her teacher for moral support and blurted, "You put pants on me today!" The thought crossed my mind that my error was it was BUCK ASS NEKKID day at her school but as I glanced around the playground, I noticed other clothed children frolicking harmlessly around the play equipment. I wasn't sure what to say other than to apologize to her royal highness in hopes I would be spared the guillotine. Her teacher smiled at me and said she would see us tomorrow. Personally, from my daughters look, I wasn't sure I would survive the night.

As we drove down the driveway of the school I made another mistake, asking her how her day was. After a few silent moments I turned over my right shoulder to see if she was still conscious. She was staring out the window, arms still folded. "Honey," I said, "how was your day today?" She turned her head 480 degrees to look over at me with a look that could stop traffic. "I had pants on today," and then she promptly turned bck towards the window.

In my defense, society sort of makes clothing mandatory, at least where I live and more so, at the age of 5. I tried to plead with my daughter this very case. I told her that despite my many trips to D.C., clothing is required whether the school is public or private. I begged her to understand that, even though she was upset, that maybe tomorrow she could pick out something less inhibitive like, for example, saran wrap. I apologized profusely for having to follow rules and wished that I was more like her and less likely to take direction or listen to adults.

Despite my efforts, she continued to watch the scenery pass by her window. I wasn't sure what to do next other than to simply ask her. So I did. I asked her what needed to do to make her happy, adding being naked was out of the question. She said just one word. Not 'tattoo,' or 'piercing,' or 'cell.' She just said shorts.

Eh?

It was hot at recess and the other kids were in shorts or skirts. She was the only one in pants. I should know better because I am Dad and know everything. If I could please remember that tomorrow, that would make her happy. Ok, I said. I will also try to remember that there is a high pressure system over the Pacific Northwest with a clockwise rotation, bringing warm air up from Southern California, causing temperatures to rise to un-seasonal highs. I did tell her that there was a low pressure system in the Gulf of Alaska that will bring in a cold front over the next couple of days, causing temperatures to drop about 10 degrees over the next couple of days. I finished by telling her that I will remember to dress her according to the barometric pressure.

"OK," she said, and the she asked me to turn the radio up because her favorite song was on. How wonderful it would be to be 5 and perfect.