Why buy a mobile home?

Homes are not meant to be mobile. They only make sense when you own the ground you put them on. They then become real property with tax benefits. Other than that, they are migraines. My wife owned one before we got married. YAY, you might say, you married one of those real estate tycoons. No, this particular model, a 1972 Fleetwood single-wide mobile home, was placed in a park on rented ground. Owning this P.O.S. was just the first mistake. It gets worse from here.

I should preface the next tirade with a disclaimer that anyone who owns a mobile home but not the land is a fucktard and has the common sense of an infant gumming on a Ginsu. I have zero sympathy for those who invest in a car and wonder why it falls apart faster that Amy Winehouse. My wife vacated this property when she married an alcoholic. No, it wasn't me, rather it was her first husband. She found 3 sets of renters, 2 of which the park would not allow inside. Kind of like the Pentagon. They don't let just anyone in there. They have to be top notch winners with loads of cash and good credit because, well, they are renting a mobile home in a park simply to save money. Right....but only a mobile home owner would believe that shit anyway.

The renters had to get a co-signor who would agree to vouch for these assholes in the event they did not pay lot rent. My wife had them fill out an application, and did not pull credit or do any employment verification, simply needing to have someone in the place so she could move out and fornicate with Mr. Whiskey-dick. I am not bitter she was married before. Honestly, I am not. It only lasted 6 weeks anyway. Sounds almost like Britney's high school fling in Vegas. She has the renters sign a purchase agreement stating they could buy this wonderful piece of tin for $12,500 in five years. Not sure if that is a parting gift or what.

"Today, for curing cancer you get this..... 1972 Fleetwood single-wide home-on-wheels, tongue and groove removed for your conveniece. A 14 by 60 gem of a home, it comes with window coverings and 45 square feet of linoleum. This price package worth... a big ol' bag of dog shit!"

Five years came and went 3 years ago. No demand feature, no consequence for missing trailer tax payments or loan payments. SImply a thank GOD someone is in there taking care of my castle. It's almost like a 22 year old woman wrote the contract. Err....well, ok that's true. Now, the renters have not paid lot rent for three months, at about $400 a pop. The park manager who makes Jessica Simpson seem like a Rhode Scholar, is suing my wife for the unpaid lot rent. Not the renters, who apparently were evicted on July 31st, yet they are still living there. Not the co-signor who, according to Miss Smart Woman cannot be located, but my wife. Oh, and also the lender who holds the note to this piece of garbage. Makes tons of sense since the agreement signed by the renters and the park indicate that the tenants are liable for the lot rent.

Now, I get to make a trip to Idaho, on my own dime, to contest this action on behalf of my wife. I get to sit across from Wonder Woman as she attempts to justify her actions. This is the benefit of owning a mobile home. A big fucking migraine headache and elevated blood pressure. Not to mention, I have 4.5 hours of driving one way. I am so incredibly excited you have no idea. I am filing a small claims lawsuit against the renters for $5000 while I am there. It is $3362 short of what they haven't paid in taxes and payments. They will file bankruptcy as soon as the judgment is rendered anyway and become squatters officially, per the courts.

Why buy a mobile home again? Oh right......TO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL!