It Could Be Worse

Things could be worse. They could be a WHOLE LOT worse. Every morning, I go to Kadlec at 9:30AM for IV antibiotics. I go into the Outpatient Procedure office in the hospital, check in and am brought back into this horseshoe of about 9 rooms. Some are filled with recovering outpatient surgery folks. Others are there, I imagine, for treatments like mine. But in all reality, I have it pretty easy. I listen to people moaning in pain. I listen to rapid heart rates and nurses who are trying to empathize with patients telling them that having a catheter is just going to predispose the patient to possible infection. i remember that feeling. I remember the first day in the hospital needing assistance to pee in one of those plastic milk jugs because I couldn't do it alone. I PRAYED for a catheter, more or less so I could salvage some dignity. Wearing that gown is enough. I would have loved to simply pee on my own.

I have it pretty easy. I sit there. I sit there in silence sipping on my 7 ounce cup of water that I am graced with. The treatment is 45 minutes and I get to leave afterwards. I don't have to do anything but show up. I have a central line, inserted in the side of my bicep and the line is fed through a vein down towards my aorta. It is about 3 or 4 feet of fibrous tubing with 3 snake-like ports that dangle out of moy arm. Along with the luxury of ease of use for the antibiotics, it makes drawing blood easy. A phlebotomist is not allowed to touch me, which is great news being the last phlebotomist that did busted a vein in my hand because she was retarded. Maybe not legally, however, in my mind, I was glad she never came back.

What has all of this taught me? That is the $60,000 question. I suppose I always figured I would live forever. Like my Dad, I was going to be this young, virile male forever. With everything that happens in your life that cannot be controlled, it is imperative to control the things you can. The human body is a fascinating machine, really. It rights itself with sickness, only after doing everything it can to fix itself on its own. I was one point away from Kidney failure. I was close to dialysis. I was close to the kidneys simply shutting down. I gained 25 pounds in 2 weeks on a liquid diet. How does that happen? My body was retaining everything I was putting in, even if it was jello and broth. Low calories, low sodium, no excretion. That poses a problem. Brief explanation of GFR. Renal function is a number on a blood test. Anything lower than 15 is kidney failure. They like the number to be 60 and above. May 8, the day I was discharged, my number was 16. May 11, it was 22. Yesterday, it was 49. My kidneys work again. I lost the 25 pounds within a few days of coming home. Of course, it was at about 800 cc at a time. My bladder hates me.

Yes it could be worse. It could me much worse. Today is a new day. Just like tomorrow will be. I take care of what I can with each passing day. My hope is that the people I love do the same.