Bulldogs

If you visit http://www.akc.com/ (or whatever the American Kennel Club is located on the world wide web), there is a section on every type of pedigree canine known to man. I have owned many animals in my life, a few of them being dogs. When I was a kid, I had a black Labrador. He was the most gentle of dogs I have ever been around to this point. I later owned a golden lab because I wanted the same type of animal I had when I was a kid. She was great. Of course, that is the last dog I owned in which the objective in purchasing the animal had any sense whatsoever.

I bought a Weimaraner a couple of years ago. Talk about wiry. This dog required marathons....DAILY. Of course, I read up on the breed and knew that, but in my mind I felt I that having that dog around would induce some exercise in my own life. This dog couldn't sit still. It was like having Tom Arnold living in my house, strung out on a cocaine binge. To be fair to the animal, I placed an advertisement in the classifieds, hopefully to spark an interest from someone who owned a race track on 100 acres. Luckily, I found someone who had 10 acres and was looking for something just like my dog. To date, he is happily running all over the countryside.

I took the information I learned from owning my Weim, and found a dog perfect for my personality and lifestyle. I found an English Bulldog. Owning an English bulldog is like owning a brick with legs. I feed him and water him. I let him outside to go to the bathroom. Its almost like owning a Chia pet, minus the excrement. Yes, they are expensive, mostly because of the cost of birthing one of these puppies. The mother essentially has to pass a globe through a marble sized birth canal. That tends to be expensive, or so I have learned. But it is worth the investment, in my mind, because of the low-maintenance care required after the fact. Of course, that was what I thought until I began to read about common problems associated with this breed. Eye problems, breathing problems, hip issues...the same problems that occur often at the Happy Valley Convalescent Home. The difference is these problems occur at an early age of a bulldog's life.

At 6 months of age, my little Gus weighs approximately 45 pounds. At one year, I project he will weigh close to 375 pounds and will most likely have college scouts salivating over him. I should have named him "tank," or sent out profile pages to local law enforcement offering his bulldozing services to local drug agencies. If it is in his way, he just keeps on moving through it. He only stands about 11 inches at the shoulder but nothing seems to phase his progression forward. Oddly enough, he is very gentle with my kids, just not my couch. He is more compact than tamped earth. He has more leaks in his mouth than the CIA. Drinking water for him is a lot like Starr Jones at the local buffet. Whatever goes in his mouth is often left dripping all over the floor.

With all over his flaws, both now and down the road, my bulldog Gus has all the personality that my other dogs had combined, and then some. I couldn't imagine owning another animal in my life that was not a bulldog. Unless of course it is one of those miniature donkeys. That, however is another story all together.