Pregnancy and the Gall Bladder

I am not sure where these random thoughts come from. The above title represents a statement made a few years ago. It has been discussed and discussed, with much laughter and tears, but I have never written about it. Not sure why. I was given ample opportunity to do so. Maybe I felt bad for the person that asked. Maybe I didn't want to appear as if I was a snobby medical jargon-type person. Yet here I am being fearless with the incompetence of another. ::sigh::

When I first got out of nursing school, I was ready to conquer the world. I mean, now Grey's Anatomy was more entertaining since I kinda knew what they were talking about. I could tear it apart knowing full well a large bore needle is not best for drawing blood out of a 4-year old. Pfft....Hollywood and medicine. Oh the errors.

Then I got into Occupational Health and figured this was a whole new world to learn. Although it is true that there are some difference being an Nurse in a manufacturing facility, understanding anatomy and physiology still serves its purpose. I would never make someone feel stupid for asking a question about medical stuff. For the most part, the questions are fairly benign and thought provoking. There are instances however, where there is a serious "WTF" that is uttered in my head; a cock of the eyebrow as if to say....WTF. You know when you see a unicorn in a dress ordering a Long Island Iced Tea on a Tuesday...texting when you know that a cloven hoof cannot possibly use a touch screen? Makes you wonder, right?

So during my first couple of months I worked with a temp in my office. The temp's sole job was data entry. She worked 4 feet away from me. On a good day, one ear bled. Some days, I would act as if I had IBS or "ate something that didn't agree with me." Other days, I would put in ear buds to make the noise stop. Every day she had a question about something medical. What happens when your eyes get blurry? Are tears always salty? Why can't our bodies fully digest corn? Are kidney beans meant to look like kidneys or taco shells? One day, there was a question that, to this day, makes me believe that people can, in fact, be as dense as a dying sun. I shiver to think of it...

"I know the answer but I'll ask anyway. Can you get pregnant if you still have your gall bladder?"

I had to pause. She said, "I know the answer." Yet, she is asking me...and giving me an option. Shit. How do I handle this? I believe it was Friday. I was giddy. So I said what every red-blooded, medically trained, national board passing nurse would say.

"Pffffft. No you can't." Let's see where this goes.

"Yeah I kinda figured that."

I had to stare at my computer screen to hide the fact I was about erupt in laughter. I understand that she was not a nurse, doctor, medical assistant or a student of the like. However, she had the housing-of-the-fetus parts. She even pro-created, meaning she went through 9-months of education while pregnant. She had sex-ed growing up and I cannot fathom that the gall bladder, or lack there of, was ever discussed as being a necessity for making another human being. I sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, going through my head any and all scenarios that I had come across in all of my pre-nursing training where the gall bladder could have been discussed....ever....as it related to making a baby. Nothing came to mind. Nada...nine....nol....

I turned and looked at her and apologized and said that you don't need a gall bladder to get pregnant. It held bile, not babies. It was the first sandbox, however, that potentially the body helped fill. But....no, it held no significance in the procreation process. She stared back blankly. I thought maybe she had tilted her head wrong and the switch turned off. I stood up and her eyes followed. I asked her if she was OK. She paused, briefly, and said "OHHHHHH....I thought you said you needed your gall bladder to get pregnant. I misunderstood."

(strategic pause)

You don't need your gall bladder, really, for anything. It is kind of a useless organ; a reservoir, a bag o' bile. The gall bladder isn't even green. The books lie. So does the Internet. Those illustrations are way wrong. So whether you are getting pregnant, planning on becoming pregnant in the near future, or are 6-years old and wonder why the UPS guy is sitting in your kitchen every day while Daddy is at work, the gall bladder's presence doesn't matter, OK?

I'll never forget the look on her face as she cocked her head looked down to the floor briefly and said, "then where does the pee come from?"

I still have the scar on my forehead where it hit the desk.