I often feel like I have strayed in the way I have lived my life and that soon, hopefully very soon, I shall return from my banishment a better man. Unlike the story of The Prodigal Son, no one sent me on this perilous quest but myself. Yet, the rewards attained from the experiences shall be reaped by many. Again, this is a hope, not necessarily a fact. Usually, at least lately, hope is all I have had.
This entry was not motivated by anything. These words are being thought of on the fly with little thought put towards them prior to being spewn onto the web, but yet, somehow, in my heart of hearts, they are prolific in nature. Their meaning might only be familiar to me. Some may be able to relate to having been cast away by a loved one or loved ones, struggling to find the meaning of why, rather than simply being grateful for having the opportunity to realize the err in their ways. Yet, there may be some who have no idea why they are wandering aimlessly through life, wondering where the past two decades have gone. Kung Fu Panda is a silly kids movie, yet thee is a quote in there that states something about today being a gift, that is why they call it "a present." Today is truly a gift. Tomorrow is not even remotely on my mind. Often, however, I think back to yesterday wondering what I did to earn those todays of my past.
I am not sure what I have done to earn today. I got up this morning. I went about my life. Did I touch someone else's life? Did I make it memorable for anyone other than me? If I died today, what would people say about me? Would my journey away be remarkable in teaching me tangible things I can use to benefit OTHERS? I am not sure I have done that very well, at least not lately. Giving is truly a gift that has endless returns.
Time for class....
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
First Draft
Everything I write is a first draft. When I was in school, English teachers would tell the class to just start writing and not think about anything. The mind interferes with the transfer of the message. I could not agree more. I had to write this now. So many times I think of something, laying in bed, and think, "I will write that tomorrow," and then life happens. I can't do that with this one.
"The Pursuit of Happyness" is like my cinematic Ben and Jerry's. It is a love-hate thing. Now, I cannot recall the last time I had Ben and Jerry's, but I can remember the last time a movie passed along so many different messages. I recorded it so my 12-year old daughter can learn about perseverance. I write this so that maybe I can make sense of the tears that flow each and every time I watch that movie.
We all have hills to climb. Tall mountains and sometimes low valleys. Even though the year is about half over, I have climbed a lifetime of mountains. As much as I would like to retire my climbing shoes, I won't. I can't. There are too many lessons to be learned by the trials these escapades bring. Many times I felt like letting go of my grip and free falling, hoping that somewhere in the bottomless chasm we call life there would be a DO OVER; a children's climbing wall. The climbs get hard, and most times, you feel alone.
Through my trek up these mountains I have seen the power of support from all different angles. I have seen miracles, more than most can anticipate in many lifetimes. I wasn't sure I deserved any of it. It isn't a matter of what we deserve. It is human nature to think that we cannot move forward at the pace the mountain may beckon. It is the outside world whispering for us to take a break and relax knowing full well the momentum that has been built will fade away into the wind. I say no, as I have said for the last few months and whisper back, "fuck off and die."
Momentum. It is key to every adversity we face, often daily. Even a tumbleweed can climb a fence if it knows how to use momentum. Support creates momentum, from friends and family who know the capabilities of those in a struggle with the elements of life. We cannot give up on those we love or they will give up on the climb and surely perish. I have seen what support can do; those we love not whispering for us to give up and that the top is just a top. Nothing special, just an end destination. Whatever the end is, I will determine its importance in my life. I will reap its rewards because it is mine.
Our lives are a first draft. The words penned through action. Mistakes and victories all melded together into a never ending novel; a proverbial "Choose Your Own Adventure." The decisions we make will change the outcome of the story, long before it is published. Without the support of others, the story is short. It is like life. One moment, you live forever. The next moment, adversity cuts your rope, leaving you dangling on a toe hold.
What would you do?
"The Pursuit of Happyness" is like my cinematic Ben and Jerry's. It is a love-hate thing. Now, I cannot recall the last time I had Ben and Jerry's, but I can remember the last time a movie passed along so many different messages. I recorded it so my 12-year old daughter can learn about perseverance. I write this so that maybe I can make sense of the tears that flow each and every time I watch that movie.
We all have hills to climb. Tall mountains and sometimes low valleys. Even though the year is about half over, I have climbed a lifetime of mountains. As much as I would like to retire my climbing shoes, I won't. I can't. There are too many lessons to be learned by the trials these escapades bring. Many times I felt like letting go of my grip and free falling, hoping that somewhere in the bottomless chasm we call life there would be a DO OVER; a children's climbing wall. The climbs get hard, and most times, you feel alone.
Through my trek up these mountains I have seen the power of support from all different angles. I have seen miracles, more than most can anticipate in many lifetimes. I wasn't sure I deserved any of it. It isn't a matter of what we deserve. It is human nature to think that we cannot move forward at the pace the mountain may beckon. It is the outside world whispering for us to take a break and relax knowing full well the momentum that has been built will fade away into the wind. I say no, as I have said for the last few months and whisper back, "fuck off and die."
Momentum. It is key to every adversity we face, often daily. Even a tumbleweed can climb a fence if it knows how to use momentum. Support creates momentum, from friends and family who know the capabilities of those in a struggle with the elements of life. We cannot give up on those we love or they will give up on the climb and surely perish. I have seen what support can do; those we love not whispering for us to give up and that the top is just a top. Nothing special, just an end destination. Whatever the end is, I will determine its importance in my life. I will reap its rewards because it is mine.
Our lives are a first draft. The words penned through action. Mistakes and victories all melded together into a never ending novel; a proverbial "Choose Your Own Adventure." The decisions we make will change the outcome of the story, long before it is published. Without the support of others, the story is short. It is like life. One moment, you live forever. The next moment, adversity cuts your rope, leaving you dangling on a toe hold.
What would you do?
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