Equality is Overrated

I am pretty sure this blog will pees someone off. I am all for equality for women in sports. Hell Title IX is my favorite mandate for college athletics. It was one of many reasons I didn't get to play Division I baseball at Boise State. Not bitter, really. I could have gone to play in Europe for a year, all expenses paid. Passed that up. Choices, decisions; our lives are dictated by them. I have lived with the consequences of my choices. I am rambling. I DO have a point.

Remember when Michele Wie wanted to play golf with the men? Remember how she did so incredibly awesome from the black tees? Me neither. Yes, she can hit it a ton. Yes, she is a great golfer, but until you dominate your own gender's sport, please refrain from wanting to play where the penises do. You couldn't hang. It's the truth. "But she is a better golfer than you." I hope so. She's a phucking pro. It's what she does for a living. She had better be better than me. When that fiasco was going on I was so tired of hearing about it. I knew come Saturday her pipe dream of making the cut would dissipate faster than the Situation's chivalry. Sure enough, no Michele Wie on the weekend. She has since won something on the LPGA. I think so anyway. Once you become a youthful Annika Sorrenstam, you can come back to the PGA and fail. Until then, waddle your vagina around the course with the other vaginas, K?

This brings me to Danica Patrick. I am not sure what to say other than I wish she was on that plane with Ritchie Valens. You know how many times she has won on the Indy circuit? Once. You know how she won? Helio Castroneves put on his brakes and let her by. Any argument to the contrary is bullshit. She is mediocre, at best. Great, she drives well. But no one has said she drives well without saying for a female driver. She is a marketer's wet dream. The media gobbles her up because she stands 5'2 and weighs 105 pounds. She still looks like Gollum. Have you seen her in the Sports Illustrated bikini shoot? She looks like a man. I'm not impressed, not with her driving ability, nor her femininity. I don't care she is a woman driving a car, continuously turning left, whether it is Indy or Nascar. She has behaved like a spoiled little brat in the pits, a few times bum rushing fellow drivers. Thank God for people holding her back because I would hate to actually measure how far shit flies. Yay, she is an athlete. So was Charles Barkley.

So it isn't that I think women should not have equality in sports. But in reality, you need to earn the opportunity to be a part of a male-dominated sport once you have dominated the female equivalent; both of which these women have failed to do. Yet, I still hear them complaining about how the doors are shut to women in male sports. SHUT UP ALREADY! Beat up the women you play against with multiple victories and prove there is no competition for you. Until then, you will need to learn to squat and aim into a standing urinal. Move along, we are all stalked up on crazy here.