Some thoughts

There is an opening for Kennewick city planner. There isn't? Well, hell, there should be. Who the HELL thinks it is a good idea to chip seal Clearwater/Columbia Center Blvd. during the day, causing traffic to be backed up in all directions? I am not sure how this even looked good on paper. Maybe it needed it. I don't know, but for the LOVE OF GOD, do this kind of crap at night. It makes more sense. I don't care to hear about the night differential that you will have to pay a night crew. It inconveniences the constituents that vote for you. DO IT!

To the guy who passes me, only to come to a screeching halt at the red light that was just in front of us....WHY???? The first one to the red light...still stops, Magellan. Do you realize that driving is NOT a right, its a privilege? I know you may not value the 1986 Toyota Corolla, nor its thousand of moving parts. I can assure you, however, that (1) you are missing class right now, and (2) your parents would not appreciate you flipping me the bird as I laugh and shake my head at your stupidity. I keep thinking Darwin was wrong, and then people like you come along and disprove all of my reasearch. A$$hole!

To the helpful Walmart employee who wanted to show me how to use the self-checkout station...if I wanted help, I would go to one of the many lit lanes you have in your store. I know you want to show initiative to your boss so that someday you can graduate to full-time checker status, but don't use me as your corporate ladder rung. I go to this lane because I have 4 items, all of which can fit in a bag. Yes, I do know its a touch screen, and these little bar codes are UPC scanner tags that the system recognizes and rings up accordingly. I get it. I also get that, unless you put it in the bag right away, the system will not proceed because, since an item was rung up, it needs to be weighed, which is below the stack of bags. How sneaky. Please stop looking at the clothes I bought and telling me you have the same shirt. It makes me feel dirty. Such a big corporation, and such a shitty dental plan.

To the guy working back in electronics, TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE, while I stand in front of the mp3 player display case. Why, YES, you can help me. Sorry to interrupt your discussion of your copial conquest from the night before, but this case is locked and somehow management entrusted you with the keys. I left my monkey in the car, or else I would have him do it. Believe it or not, I would like something in the case. I am not here parusing. I am a hunter/gatherer. I found my prey. Just call your friend back, so you can find out from his sister if size really does matter.

When I walk over to the dressing room with a few items of clothing to try on, why is it that the fitting room attendant asks me what he/she can do for me? Its not like they are selling pretzels and drinks back there. I don't see auto mechanics, taste testers, sample givers, or Senske employees. I see doors...several doors. I just want one of them unlocked. Its kind of a rhetorical thing. Me, a couple of items of clothes on the hangers, walking towards the fitting rooms. Doesn't require much thought. Yet, I seem to have to do this every time I go. Two minutes after I am let into a fitting room, I get a knock at the door asking if everything is OK. Why wouldn't it be? Did you forget that the angry badger was in room 3 and not room 1?

Last but not least, when I am peeing in the men's room, I use a stall. I do this because it seems like every other time I ever used a urinal, some a'hole wanted to talk about his day. This isn't a social time for me. I have to urinate and would like to do so in peace. This is not a wake for Uncle Charlie where we can discuss all the memories we have had with him. Just...pee. That's all I want to do. I don't need a bathroom buddy. This is not kindergarten. Call me grumpy, call me anti-social, but shut the hell up so I can get in, and get out. Sort of like a date with Lindsay Lohan.