Common Sense Rules

Often times I wish common sense was a prescription. Maybe even intelligence; somehow you can take a pill or two and come out as less of a burden on society. However, almost daily, I see that no matter the power of modern medicine, there just is no cure for stupid. If I have learned nothing over the last year, it is when I will seek out medical care...for anything or anyone that I love.

In some ways, I feel sorry for my kids. Unless there is pus leaking out of more than one orifice, they aren't going to the doctor. If there is no visible deformity or protruding bone from any part of their body, they get ibuprofen and ice. Cast or Ace wrap? I will robably choose the latter. It's got nothing to do with cruelty. It is a matter of common sense. Would I take them to the doctor if they have a stiff neck? Not without a fever. They probably slept wrong. If I went to the doctor's office every time I had a stiff neck, well, I would be MORE broke than I already am. My pillows suck. What can I say.

Some infections can lead to serious systemic complications. Strep, for example, can lead to heart complications if left untreated. Chief complaint of TOE PAIN will make eyes roll. Understand that in advance. Especially when (A) you have had said pain for 3 weeks,(B) have not gone to see your doctor for it and (C) have not taken anything for the pain. WHY ARE YOU HERE? Boredom? If you, as a patient, leave questioning the discharge instructions, or lack thereof, thre is a good chance you should not have been there in the first place.

Also, as a parent or extended relative, do not state, just after introducing yourself to the doctor, that you already know what the problem is. For example, "it's probably GERD because everyone in the family has it." It defeats the purpose of doing an exam and basing a clinical impression of factual data. GERD is a diagnosis of exclusion and unless you have a scope shoved down your throat to confirm acid is eating your flesh, shut up. When asked, what seems to be the problem, never answer "she just needs to get smacked around a bit like all grand kids do." You are risking your status as Grandpa of the year. The party is paid for, and the catering is all the crap left over on the front of your t-shirt. You arne't an expert...in anything...or else you wouldn't be here....at 1AM....in flannel....wearing Famous Dave's....from 2007.

You complain of shortness of breath. This is not a new complaint. You have been here for the same thing the last 20 times this year. You smoke 2 packs a day. You are still confused about how lung function can be compromised by a 3 inch stick. Read the label. Google image "emphysema." Read about COPD....read about home health care....buy a plot. If you came to the hospital thinking that a MD is going to tell you it isn't the cigarettes, and your family is wrong about the 4 interventions performed on your behalf, then your tobacky is wacky.

Common sense should come in a pill. I have bouts of DOH on occasion. Just because I have a couple years of schooling doesn't mean I know everything. I do know, however, how to save myself a hefty medical bill. Common sense. Some people should get some, then keep some on hand for the next time they are dying....kinda.