Please Just Let Me Shop

I am not interested in saving the Nepalese from leprosy. I don't care to sign your petition in support of little people rights. I don't want any cookies, leather chaps, or my face painted. I certainly don't want to sign a get well card for the Dalai Lama. Can I just get by you so I can get my prescriptions filled at Walmart?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD....if I see one more table filled with unemployed Greenpeace workers trying to recruit for the next Save the Earth movement.....let's just say, I will do the EXACT opposite they are asking support for. If they want to stop seal clubbing, I will go get a seal...somewhere, and club the living shit out of it on the spot. If the want to stop all you can eat buffets, I will binge and purge on their petitions. If they want to Save Tibet, I will donate to the Chinese consulate. I will paint their shit GREEN for spite. I am not interested and you won't sway me.

Oh, and leave me alone on the way out. I can assure you, my mind did not change while I shopped. I still think you are as retarded now as I did when I sprinted past you. It's almost as bad as the airports used to be. Take your fliers and wipe. It was hard enough to come to Walmart. My kids hate Walmart because of you. You scare them. You keep them up at night, which keeps me up at night, which ....es me off because I have to, then, tolerate YOU. I don't have enough patience for you because I spent it all on the commute over here behind a blue hair that had no business being on the road in the first place. I was tailgated. I was cut off. I was yelled at...and this was all in a school zone. So leave me alone. I don't like Girl Scout cookies. Neither do my kids. Stop trying to hand them one. Address me, not them, when offering cookies. For all I know they have crack in them you nut job. Wait until my daughter is a Girl Scout, I know. I can assure you, she will be selling something much better than cookies, but illegal.

The money is better.

Move aside, you quack. I have roll downs to take advantage of.