Please Stop Sending Me CDs...

10/12/09

Dear Time Life,


Thank you for sending me the recent 'Christian Anthem' CD. It arrived about an hour after we hung up the phone. I was amazed how fast the service was. The delivery guy was fast, silent, and was wearing an earpiece and sunglasses on a cloudy day. Regardless, thank you. I appreciate the catalog too. I will look it over and see if there is anything else that might catch my eye.

Sincerely,

Eli


10/13/09

Dear Time Life,


WOW! Three more CDs came today. I was a little shocked to receive them being we have not had enough time to read the catalog. I suppose we can use some travel tunes, but I am not sure my kids will really be into the 'Monk Chants of the St. Barrastille' CD. 'Whale Songs' was interesting. I was wondering if there was ever going to be music on there. I suppose whales are surreal. Thanks again and I look forward to checking out the additional catalog that was left with the CDs. Now my wife can look at one at the same time.

Sincerely,

Eli


10/13/09

Dear Time Life,

Ok, we just got three more CDs. That makes 6 total...just from today. I tried to call your 800 number, but was on hold most of the day. Your commercial says we can cancel any time. I am not sure how to do that other than call. I am thankful for the CDs. This shipment included Christmas music though, and its October. Not sure where you got the idea I wanted these. Oh, and I appreciate the 9 catalogs that came with these 3 CDs. The bathroom can always use more reading material.

Thanks

Eli


10/14/09

Dear Time Life,

I just got a knock on my door and 11 CDs, along with 17 catalogs, spilled into my house. I barely saw the delivery guy running around the corner. From behind, it looked like the same suit from before. I haven't even listened to the 'Christian Anthem' CD I originally ordered because I don't have the time. Does anyone work at your 800 number location? No one seems to answer there. As much as I appreciate the promptness, I believe I need to cancel my shipments from here on out. Company is here. Gotta run. Please cancel. Thanks!


Eli


10/15/09


Time Life,

OK stop! I was expecting visitors from out of town, but instead I got a case of 'Mannheim Steamroller Greatest Hits,' and a case of 'Merle Haggard's Holiday Hits,' plus, there was a bundle of catalogs. I am going to guess there are abolut 300 catalogs in there!!! This is riculous! This needs to stop immediately! I don't think I can take it anymore. I am afraid of my own doorbell. My dog has hip displaysia from running up and down the stairs. People keep asking me if I am moving because of all of the trash I keep sending to the curb in the form of your unsolicited mail. I believe my repeated requests to cease and decist and your ignorance of those requests constitutes some sort of law being broken doesn't it?!?! For the love of GOD, stop sending me CDs. Shit! That's the fucking doorbell!

GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


10/17/09


Dear Time Life,

My name is Warren Stillson. I am the court appointed liason to act on Mr. Brackenbury's behalf. He is currently undergoing a psychiatric evaluation at a local mental facility. I am asking you to please stop sending boxes of CDs and multiple bundles of catalogs. He is no longer able to make rational decisions and as his executor, I am authorized to act on his behalf. If you do not cease and decist immediately, I will be forced to contact God directly to strike you down.

Sincerely,

Warren Stillson, Esq.