Your Unemployment Bothers Me

I understand the economy sucks right now. I understand you may not be educated enough to enter data on a computer screen, pronounce AND spell rezoomay, get up early and work all day, or even understand the concept of POS systems. However, seeing you sit on your ass, DAILY, puffing away continuously on Marlboro reds, sipping on yet ANOTHER soda from Sunmart is beginning to aggravate me.

When I ask you how the job hunt is going, be creative. Stating "there are just no jobs out there" is bullshit. There ARE jobs out there. You just don't want to (A) work the hours they are wanting you to work or (B) don't want to take the time to re-train yourself in a new field. Either way, it falls on the fact that you are fine with having garage sales every wekeend to help pay your rent with shit that is being donated by a church. You are probably OK with simply collecting unemployment benefits. Whatever the case, as a tax payer I feel like its my right to inform you that I think you can be doing more to find work. Your kids are old enough to take care of themselves. Your car seems to run fine. You are able to walk to the mailbox and back. Your voice, at least right now, is healthy enough to bellow at me, asking if my place of employment is hiring from across the street. Let's do some math, shall we?

Being I do not know the price of a carton of Marlboro reds, I have to assume they are expensive since they are a brand name. You have to buy a carton, because buying them by pack doesn't make sense. Figuring on the burly, raspy tone of your voice and your hacking productive smoker's cough, I am going to assume, again, that you smoke about 3 packs a day. There are 10 packs in a carton. So, if the price of a carton is $50, and you go through 2 cartons a week, that is $100 a week in just smokes, or $400 a month, almost $5000 a year. I have no idea what your unemployment is but lets guess its $400 a week...$1600 a month. Seems a bit much to me, but whatever...benefit of the doubt I guess. Rent can't be less than $700. So for $1100 a month you have a cush, comfy porch to park your ass while you burn 25% of your monthly state, provided stipend away. This leaves about, estimating of course, $500 for gas, groceries and utilities, not to mention your son's cell phone bill. Maybe it's your phone, but the manner in which he hides his conversations from you, I can only imagine it being his.

I guess I am aggravated at myself for realizing I needed a career change and getting the schooling required to change professions and actually doing it, while working, while making sure my kid's don't miss out on time with me, or making time for the family when I really need to be studying, and working 55 hours a week to make sure I do not have to depend entirely on others...and then watching you do nothing except progress towards cancer and arteries that resemble re-bar. Don't be shocked that I don't waive at you. Your choice to manipulate the system so your life is easier is yours to do with what you choose, as is my choice to be neighborly. Waving, although courtesy, is a sign that I am OK that you sit on your ass all day. I'm not, so I don't waive.

Oh, next week, the next time I see your cat I am going to give him some anti-freeze before he shits in my yard again.