XBOX 360 for SALE

For those who are looking to purchase an XBOX 360 game system for your home, I have one for sale. It will only cost you $250,000. I know, I know. I am taking advantage of people around the holidays, and using a capitalist nature in doing so. Hell, why should I care? If people are dumb enough to pay 600% over retail price to keep their kids quiet, then I am going to milk it for all it is worth.

I remember my parents used to hand the Sears catalog to me and my brother as a kid, with two different colored pens and told us to circle what we wanted. You remember the Sears Catalog, don't you? Before Al Gore invented the Internet in the 80's, it was the phone book sized book that had everything Sears and Roebuck had to offer. While flipping through it, my brother and I would skip through the scantily clad women in bras and granny panties and go right to the toy section. We circled everything, knowing that somehow, Santa was going to get his hands on our little wishbook and we were going to make off like bandits. We couldn't wait until Christmas.

When the day finally arrived, we saw....two things we circled, followed by several things that, albeit were nice, were nowhere NEAR what we "wished" for. SANTA WAS A FRAUD! I was good. As good as an 8-year old can be anyway. I left stray cats alone for 364 days to get.....? AHHHHHHHHHH! Why didn't I get X? Because my parents said NO. Oh MY GOD! They said NO? That's right. No used to be a popular word. Now if you say no as a parent, you might get shot by your kids, alienated by your congressman (which in all reality is a blessing), get hate mail from friends, your house toilet-papered, tires slashed and many other numerous consequences. When did parenting become so dangerous? I would guess right about the time MTV rolled out. Wait, that is too politically motivated. It is about the time fathers lost their balls and mothers became yes women.

So, for kids that want an XBOX 360, and for the parents that pay $1000 or more for one, I have some advice. Take that $1000 and buy your kid a nice commercial lawn mower and a utility trailer to latch onto that Ford Gargantuan you bought last spring. Help them create some flyers offering a lawn mowing service. Make the prices competitive so they are guaranteed some work. have them earn the XBOX. An occasional dusting and vacuuming are not chores, they are required activities for living under the same roof. They should not be rewarded. For every hour that they do not watch t.v., text message, chat or surf the Internet, they get $1. Pretty soon, they will begin to value the things they have and not whine so much. If my kids whine about what the Jones' have, I will walk them over to the Jones' house and offer him to them as a sacrifice. Be happy for what you have, not what you have not.


But that XBOX is still available for $250,000.