God is Good

When I turned 36, I figured that it would be just like any other birthday. After a certain age, parties and celebrations about aging seem to fall by the way side similar to libido and yard work. This year, I got a great gift. Quite colorful and unique.

I got jaundice.

Jaundice as a baby makes sense. It takes some time for the organs to realize that it is time to function on their own without the help of the womb. Jaundice as an adult is a tad different. At first, it was kind of interesting to have people stare at you for no apparent reason. I didn't know I was as yellow as I was since my vision was skewed. Right....I forgot to tell you that I also got another gift this birthday.

I got diabetes.

So, unlike birthdays past, I got a gift I will have forever. Like a diamond and about as expensive in monthly installments for medication and glucose testing supplies. However, jaundice plus diabetes in an adult has a number of diagnoses. Google DIABETES and JAUNDICE and you will get to read about pancreatic cancer. All of my symptoms were there. If nothing else, this eternal gift of diabetes was kind of nice since my body could not burn sugar, it had to burn fat for energy. Hell, I had plenty of that. I lost 60 pounds in about 3 months. However, so do cancer patients. I was a little worried. So, on to my next two gifts this year.

I got an ultrasound and a CT scan with iodine contrast.

Two masses were spotted. One on my pancreas and one on my spleen. Shit. The Internet could be right for once. So I was referred to a specialist, a gastroenterologist named Dr. Vong. That is short for his full LAST name that contained more consonants than vowels. He reviewed all of my tests; blood work, CT and ultrasound and decided that I needed to be scoped. This is a rather non-invasive procedure. I assume that it was non-invasive for two reasons. One, he told me so and second, I was zonked through the procedure and unaware I had 24 inches of camera-tipped cord down my throat. After the procedure, he told me I had an Easter egg sized stone in my bile duct that had been there for years. He was going to remove it the next day that same way he found it, by shoving a cord down my throat. I asked him if I could keep it like Tom Hank's kept Wilson in 'Cast Away.' No dice.

Here is the part that baffles me. The stone is removed, my liver returns from strike. I have a stint keeping my bile duct open since there may be more stones up there. I get pink skin again. I stop excreting orange crush through my urine (excess bilirubin) and find out I need to have my gall bladder out. The doctor who was going to do it came by to see me the morning after my surgery. He told me straight out that the mass on my spleen is still an issue, as are the swollen lymph nodes that surround my liver and even though I have solved one problem, I may have lymphoma. He won't know until they get in there and do a biopsy. This will happen next week.

So I may get a new hair-do for my next present. I may have even more weight loss and some nausea. The part that baffles me is I am not afraid of it. I am not afraid of any of it. It is out of my hands. There is nothing I can do to stop what may come. All I can do is make the most out of what I am doing TODAY. I deal with my diabetes daily. I monitor, eat, monitor, study, monitor, eat, drink, medicate, repeat. That part is kind of nice since I am now involved in my own prognosis. Out of everything that has happened I got the best gift of all.

Awareness.

Amen Brother.