I Have Cancer

Odd to think, let alone type. The kind of cancer I have is unknown at this point. Am I afraid? Not really. Shocked is a good word I suppose. Of course, I have not taken care of myself over the past 15 years or so. Anyone who saw me at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony could see that.

That was almost 70 pounds ago. Some would say, "WOW, way to go!" However, I was sick. Cancer loves calories. In a twisted way, tumors are like newborns that steal calories from the host (me) and nutrients to grow. At first I thought it was diabetes. That causes you to lose weight for no reason. Maybe it was a combination of both. I am not sure.

Lymphoma has many sub-groups. The node they took out was about the size of a quarter. Normally they are the size of the tip of your pinkie finger. The doctor took it to the lab for the pathologist to cut it open. No doubt it was cancerous. But won't know what kind of lymphoma until next week sometime. If they can find out what it is locally, that is the best news. That means it is common and not rare. In my mind rare would be bad. So I have something to say to my cancer, and I thought it would make a great blog post.

Dear Cancer,

I will beat you.

I won't you get me because I have too much to live for. I have two beautiful daughters I want to walk down the aisle. I want to teach them about real men and how they should be treated by them. I have a son that I need to keep out of trouble and show what it means to respect a woman. I have a wife who I adore to no end. I have plans that you don't fit in to. So even though you have anchored yourself in my body, don't get to comfortable. My spirit alone will make you hate being here. You are simply going to be spinning your wheels. I will break you long before you break me.

You might put up a fight, but my fight is going to be much bigger than yours, no matter how sick you might make me. I am more patient than you. I can wait you out until you have nothing left. Your attitude is not stronger than my will to live. Don't think that will change.

I won't tell you to leave just yet. You can hang around for as long as you want. Just now that before you get to me, you will die. It is not my time.