Parent First, Friend Last

First and foremost, parenting styles are different. I get that. However, I believe there is a constant that all parents should share but seemingly few do. That constant is that as a parent, you are a parent first and a friend later. Period. End of story. I believe there is a generation of kids being raised that have little knowledge of right and wrong. Isn't that the job of the parent? If you are right, you get to stay here one more day. If you are wrong, I'll help you pack. I can't remember a time when I mistook my parents for my friends. Thank God or else I could describe a jail cell down to the dots on the cinder blocks.

I love all my kids. However, if they "hate me" because I won't let them do everything they want, so be it. I will get over it long before they will. It's the nature of the beast. I provide food, shelter, clothing, a sense of well-being and moral support...maybe some assistance with homework and a ride or two. Beyond that, let the molding begin. I have heard too many times that "my parents were strict and I hated it, so I am trying to be my kid's friend first," and every time I hear that I want to open up a sterilization clinic. That's not your job. Your job is to provide the knowledge and skills that are required to function in society, not to make sure your child's friends like you. My house is a gathering point for the socially inept when school gets out. I'm glad my kids have friends. Is it wrong that I want to make sure that their friends aren't going to kill a porcupine and hang it from a door knob? I don't think so, and even if it doesn't sit well with my kids, I don't really care and to the parent's who question why I won't let your kids play with mine after school, go fuck yourselves. I'm not a day care center. Spend time with your kids after school. Ask about their day. Don't send them to my house. Example:

(knock at the door, door opens) Hi, I live across the street and my daughter said that you told her she couldn't play with your kids

Me - Correct

Neighbor - Can I ask why?

Me - No

Neighbor - Excuse me?

Me - Which one of the single words did you not understand?

Neighbor - Why can't my kids play with yours?

Me - For starters, hepatitis. But if you want a complete list of reasons, lice, numerous blood borne diseases...ummmm....I am afraid your kids will dumb mine down, tuberculosis, cellulitis, sinusitis and gastroenteritis. Most important however, your kids need YOU, believe it or not. Go help your kids with simple math. If you can't handle that, Google it.

I have heard from my kid's how they hate it at home. I have offered to help them pack and offered to crack their piggy bank for some spending money. It never really goes very far, but honestly, if I didn't love them, I would let them be assholes. My job isn't to be friends and make them happy by fulfilling every request. That's not realistic. McDonald's management won't do that, so why should I? I need to prepare them for reality. Only way that will happen is by P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N-G. It requires a sense of realism. Parenting now, while they are young allows for friendship later. I have grown up always loving my parents, but have found a certain level of respect of their parenting style now that I have kids. Being a pain in the ass early in life has allowed us to become very good friends. I love them for that. I have no doubt my kids will be the same way as they get older. History has proven it.