My Daily Bitch

Hard to believe, but it's venting time. Not necessarily about anything in particular, but just a few observational bullet points that have occurred throughout this week that I thought it was worth mentioning.

I witnessed a father (assume it was the father) berating his 4 girls because they were flittering around the store today. I sensed his frustration but could not determine the motivation. These are girls, young girls, I would guess between the ages of 3 and 7. 4 of them....just being girly. Maybe it was the 4 weddings he was not going to be able to pay for since he couldn't afford a razor...or soap. Maybe it was the fact that, brewing in his wife's womb, is girl #5? I somewhat despise the mentality that men continue to fire man gravy until a male child pops out. "I need an heir." An heir to what? Your huge stack of outdated Playboy's? Your vast estate filled with tax liens and non-running vehicles? Instead of the red vines, grab the help wanted sign, or some Trojans...the magnums aren't necessary...they really aren't.

Have you ever noticed that, no matter how empty a movie theater is, the crying baby will always sit behind you? Or the popcorn muncher? Or the 6'10 strong man competitor? Or half of the YMCA daycare? "I don't know why my baby is crying. This is usually when he takes his nap." Really? In the backback, and with dolby stereo playing in the background? Is that when he is at his best? You scarfing down popcorn like it is the key to losing baby weight? Half if it raining down on your napping child? Big shock the kid is screaming.

I went into Schuck's the other day. Clerk comes out from around the counter and asks if he could help me find anything. I said no, I was just looking around. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular. I said I was looking for something unique, for someone special. He said, "A birthday gift?" I said no, anniversary. Clerk says, what kind of car does your wife drive? I said HE drives a Dodge Ram. Kinda got awkward after that.

Orkin man showed up today as my kids and I were leaving for the park. He had left his sprayer on my front porch for 24 hours. He knocks on the door and said he was here for our appointment so he could spray for earwigs. I said we didn't have an appointment. He said, "yeah....you did," with the tone that I was a fucking idiot for not knowing this. Loving confrontation, I said that no, our appointment was NEXT Thursday between 8am and 5pm and that he was just saying it was today because he forgot his sprayer. He said nothing. My kids started to walk out. He said, "want me to spray anyway since I am here? I can lock up for you. I am licensed and bonded and all that stuff." Sure, I said. Just don't steal my 52" 3D/HD Sony Brava and Playstation 3." He laughed...as did I, since I don't have those things but will suck for him when I call his boss tomorrow to say they are missing.